Men's Retreat 2012 Day 1

For the first time in nine years of attending men’s retreats with my Fresno church, I drove.  In the past I’ve always caught a ride with another friend.  Hume requires you to carry snow chains this time of year, and I don’t have them and didn’t want to buy them.  No one I’ve ridden with in all those years has ever needed to put them on, so when Garry asked me if I would drive, I agreed, conditional on the weather forecast showing I wouldn’t need chains.  And it didn’t, until Friday morning.  By then, it was too late for us to make other plans, so I sucked it up and purchased chains.  Chains are non-returnable, so I was almost hoping we’d have to use them to make the purchase worth it.

Actually, when I heard the forecast, I wanted to cancel.  In the last few years, I have come to like cold weather less and found the heat more bearable.  I can remember a few retreats (always the second weekend of November) where I’ve been absolutely miserable from the cold, but others that were warmer (t-shirt weather in the afternoons even) and had a wonderful time.  But I knew I needed to go.

Garry and Jeff “Chops” showed up at my house at 2 p.m.  I had originally said to meet at 3 p.m., but with snow in the forecast, I wanted to get up there well before dark when the temperatures would drop and the snowfall would increase.  The car was loaded by 2:20, and we went to pick up chains, gas and food.

The roads were clear up until the entrance to Kings Canyon/Sequoia National Park.  Snowfall had started a few miles earlier, but not enough to consider the chains.  At the gate, there is a longstanding question of whether it is required to pay to get into the park if you are just going to Hume, since that is a private camp exempt from the National Park.  Different people have different answers.  When Amy and I visited for the day last month, the guard still charged us, so we went ahead and purchased an annual pass since it was only a little more.  It put my conscience at ease just to have it and not debate in the car whether it’s required or not.

This guard did require us to put chains on as we entered the park, so we dutifully pulled over.  The story of this was a total God-thing, because after I put mine on (Garry and Chops didn’t know how, never having done it before), there was another group struggling with theirs, so we stepped in to offer help.  It turns out that one of the key hooks was only shaped to 90 degrees instead of looped to actually hold another chain link.  They were planning to attempt to trudge onward 30 miles with a chain set on only a single tire.  I don’t know exactly the potential consequences of this, but I knew this was a bad idea.  So I walked back over to the guard station to ask if he had blunt-nose pliers for us to attempt to bend a proper hook.  The guard didn’t, but the group at the front of the line for the Park did.  Well, they offered me needle-nose pliers, which I knew wouldn’t work, but took anyway because arguing with someone who can’t see the situation, regarding the necessary tools to complete a task often feels fruitless to me.  They would be pulling over to retrieve their pliers, at which point I planned to point out the need for something else.  They then pulled out a hammer and channel-lock pliers, and we deftly pounded out a hook.  We got the car on their way, and then found out the truck of guys with the tools had made a severe wrong turn.  They were heading to Hartland for their church’s men’s retreat, which means they should have taken a southward turn a long time ago.  God brought both of our cars there to help out this other group that could have otherwise been stranded or injured.

As those cars left, my former roommate Daniel and his friend Marc had pulled up and started fiddling with their chains.  They had never done this either, so I helped fasten theirs to get them on the road.  It was an odd feeling to be the most experienced person at an automotive/mechanical skill in a group of five of my guy friends.  It made me feel proud for having acquired the skill (6 years ago, no refresher since) and being able to re-perform it when needed.

After that, we finally took off, slowly, down the road.  We had to stop a couple times to retighten ours, but it was otherwise an uneventful ride in.  We arrived at 5:30 and went straight to dinner.  Check-in could wait, we were hungry.

I love Hume food for men’s retreats.  I always eat well here, it’s a week after the Fresno half marathon so I never feel guilty gorging myself, and as we say up here: calories don’t count over 4,000 feet.    The salmon and beef were both good, but dessert was even better.  Chocolate soup (not sauce, but a soup, Abby’s special creation up here), with cookies & cream ice cream, and a stick of biscotti.  WOWOWOW!

At our first session this evening, we broke into our small groups for icebreaker competitions.  I received the challenge of getting an Oreo from my forehead to my mouth sans hands.  I figured there was no chance of success, but I tried, and on the second attempt, took third place of twelve teams.

Justin Greene is our speaker this weekend.  He’s a pastor up in Salem, OR.  Our theme this weekend is “From wrecked, wasted and wallowing…to Worship.”  Justin is talking through parts of the book of Job.  Tonight’s session was on Job’s assurance of his relationship with God.  Not sinless, but that he kept “short accounts” with God, sacrificing regularly “just in case” he or one of his children sinned.

I think this will be a good weekend for me.  Something that God’s been putting on my mind even before this retreat: Even if things never improve from a bad situation, would I still worship Him if it NEVER gets better?

 

I do think I have a pretty easy life.  I may have some extreme work situations from time to time, but I really have comparatively little to complain about, and I probably complain much more than I have cause to do so.  But if I were going through trial after trial, with no relief, would God be enough for me?

After the session was our annual Spades tournament.  Mike “Moose” and I decided to be partners.  Bad decision.  Well, more bad cards than on the decision for our partnership.  We just had lousy, non-complementary hands and lost 18 to 200-something to Jeff and Adam.  But Mike and I called it a victory because it meant we were then free to go to bed.  And since I had awoken at 3 a.m. to give my friend Greg a ride to the airport this morning and not gotten back to sleep, I was ready for bed.

I’m rooming with Chapman and Sam.  There was some mix-up over the cabins we normally stay in.  Those accommodations have always been pretty nice.  Five sets of bunk beds to a cabin, linens provided, a heated cabin with its own bathroom of two showers and two stalls.  But instead we were routed to Black Oak and Hickory lodges, which are very much like hotel rooms.  One queen-size bed, one twin and one trundle with a full bathroom per room.  Pretty much the nicest places they have up here.

Karate Purple Belt Test and Two Cities Half-Marathon – Part 2

Friday Flashback: I left work at 3:30 to get to the expo by 4p when it opened.  I had to get in and out before karate class at 6p, which is always a struggle for me to leave because the expos are so much fun, and I usually see a lot of people I know at the Fresno race expos.  I picked up my full marathon race bib and then got in the race changes line.

Getting sick after the Exeter half marathon in August and then just generally being lazy after I finally got well really messed up my plan to build distance in my training.  By the end of September, I realized it wouldn’t be safe to do the full marathon.  I always say that I want to be able to run until I die, and trying to run a marathon with too little training unfortunately wouldn’t kill me, but might injury me to the point where I’d have to give up running.

So I was dropping down to the Clovis half marathon.  Thankfully Fresno was offering two half-marathon courses this year instead of just one.  The recurring half course is miserable.  I think some people run the full marathon just to avoid that half course.  Some very loud and deep pockets have protested the course going by their homes one day per year, so it has severely limited the options for the race directors to outline a better course.  So when they offered a course going out to old town Clovis, I was excited for the change.

The rest of the expo was great.  I saw a few people I knew.  My chiropractor was there with a booth, and he popped and cracked me again.  There seems to be this one spot in my upper back that isn’t unlocking.  He got some good pops Thursday night, and again Friday at the expo, but even that didn’t seem to get all of it.  Hopefully it just needs time to settle out.

Then I went over to karate class, and we were doing ducking exercises, killing my quads.  And then we learned a new form, very overwhelming the day before the test.  But oh well, here goes nothing.

Back to Sunday

I woke up with plenty of time and dressed quickly to get out the door for the race.  I was in such a hurry that as I parked I realized I had forgotten my cell phone on the living room table.  I actually had enough time to go back and get it, but decided it wasn’t worth the stress.  I had a great parking spot close to the start line.  I was very early, so I popped in an Adventures in Odyssey cassette and stayed in my car to keep warm.

When I got out and started walking around, I started running into countless people I knew.  This is my favorite part of Fresno races: reunions.  Seeing friends from other churches, from FPU, from karate, from my old job and clients is a real boost for me.

Since I had a new race bib from switching races, I didn’t have an assigned start corral, so was free to start wherever I liked.  I decided to start with Olga, Katie and Olga’s sister Mira.  Olga and Katie go to church with me.  They pace a little slower than I do, but we’ve been excitedly talking about this race together for the last few months.

Our first mile was a 10:12.  Starting out, I was feeling tight but not too sore from the test the day prior, but after that first mile all the pain was gone.  So I decided to pull ahead and see what I had in me.  I started flying.  I hadn’t had this kind of speed since before the Exeter race.  I don’t know what happened, but I finally unlocked it all.  It was awesome!  I had been in the mid-10’s this whole 2-month training period, so frustrated to have lost my speed, where normally I’m in the low 9’s.

Dave & Cheryl were cheering for us outside their house just before mile 2.  Then I saw Amy, Christine and their collective broods of 7 children, and they had signs and a line of high fives waiting for me, Olga & Katie.  I love it when strangers are out there cheering, ringing cowbells and holding signs, too.  My favorite sign from this race was “Run like you stole something!”  Amy, Christine and their kids relocated to another spot around miles 5 and 7 (same spot due to the loop), so I got to see them three times during the run.  Around mile 8, I saw Jolene and gave her a high five as I flew past.  And then Garry brought his girls out to cheer us on at mile 9.  I was able to chat with a few of the other runners around me when we were pacing with each other.

I flew across the finish line in 2 hours, 2 minutes, and 8 seconds!  Average pace of 9:12/mile, with some laps in the high 8's!  I was so excited to have done that well after being nervous about wear-down from the test yesterday.  I was just four minutes shy of my personal best time.

I always take a lot of time in cool down, unwinding from a race.  And this race feeds us so well, so there’s no motivation to leave.  Ice creams sundaes; full breakfast of eggs, hash browns, bagels and orange slices; frozen fruit cups; water & Fluid (a less-pleasant, but not disgusting version of Gatorade).

They offer massages, but I never bother because the wait is so long.  I always end up sticking around long enough, but I don’t want to be tied to watching my watch.  I stretched, ate and talked with friends as they finished.

Katie and I walked over to get our free beer from the pavilion area.  Our race bibs said a free beer or glass of wine, but we couldn’t find the wine, so we settled.  Still a refreshing reward.  Then I gave Katie a ride home since she had walked over to the start of the race.

I cleaned up, rested a bit, and then headed out again to a fundraiser dinner for Young Life, a youth outreach that my friend Tiffany supports.  Sadly a very boring and poorly structured presentation, but the food and company was good.

An awesome whirlwind weekend.  I was a little stiff through Monday, particularly my quads, but I was pretty much back to normal by Tuesday.

Karate Purple Belt Test and Two Cities Half-Marathon – Part 1

This was an intense weekend: purple belt test in karate on Saturday and then a half marathon on Sunday.

I had known my purple belt test was coming up.  I just didn’t know exactly when it would be.  If I had still been planning to run the full marathon, I would have asked ahead of the announcement that it not be scheduled within two weeks of the test.  I did my orange belt test in February a week and a half after one half marathon and two days prior to another, and that was hard.

The biggest thing I was worried about was how long we’d have to stand in square horse stance.  For my orange belt test, I had to hold the stand for two sets of probably 10 minutes and 15 minutes.  But to my surprise, he refocused the testing.  We only had three sets of two minutes, two minutes and five minutes.

I was also nervous about the sparring element of the test.  Sparring is difficult for me.  I just don’t seem to have great instincts in defending, or finding an open shot.  I took about six punches to the side of my head from Bryan S. in our one-minute round.  In all of our practice sparring, we had never been allowed to hit the head, so while I was used to keeping my guards up, I wasn’t used to having to block shots up there.  My ears were ringing by the end of it.

But Bryan S. was testing for his blue belt (the next level up).  His test involved stripping an attacker of a weapon.  Three of us went in there (one at a time) with a two-foot padded training stick.  First, he took it away from Bryan L. in 17 seconds.  Third, he got it away from Dan W. in 24 seconds.  But I went second, and I beat him front and back nonstop.  He couldn’t get it away from me!  Finally he knocked me over and braced my striking wrist with his knee.  I was trying to twist around and use my left leg to slide him off of me (because he weighs nothing), when our Sensei called it a truce at 31 seconds!

The rest of the test wasn’t easy, but was pretty doable.  We were on the mat for three hours, and there was about an hour of dead time within that from all the individual testing vs. group testing.  Everyone earned their next belt.  Three were promoted to yellow belt, about six to orange, seven of us to purple, and one to blue.

I then hobbled out to my car, stopped at Arby’s for some sustenance, and then went home to prep for the race.  I had never tried it, but I heard an ice bath works wonders for rapid recovery from intense workouts.  I didn’t want to lug a bag of ice home, so I just ran a cold water bath.  I was able to survive that for about 15 minutes, and I do think it helped.  I had some pasta at Amy’s to carb up for the race, and chilled out the rest of the evening at home.

I also had to set all my clocks back.  I was nervous about this.  Last year I had a new phone and I wasn’t sure how it handled DST.  My prior phone didn’t turn back/forward until you slid it open to reveal the keypad, so I always had to set my alarm assuming it wouldn’t reset.  So last year, deciding not to trust the phone’s ability to handle this complex time change, I turned off the “auto update item” option and manually changed the time back.  Not a good move.  It still rolled the time back an hour at two a.m. (but didn’t “auto-update” to the correct time) and I was an hour late getting ready for the race.  Thankfully I give myself a lot of lead time for races.  I recall that I had even set a clock alarm but I don't remember why that didn't help.  So this year, I knew I could trust my phone to handle DST.

An Extraordinary Life

I read this article in Relevant Magazine today http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/whole-life/10-ways-live-extraordinary-life.  Very unorthodox, I don't think it's going to be my new handbook for life, but it it has some valid points to it.  I love the idea of #5 the most.  Good thing it's Friday, so I have the maximum amount of time to gear up for it.

--------------------------
10 Ways to Live an Extraordinary Life by Bob Goff

When Bob Goff answers the phone, it’s a bit of a shock. It shouldn’t be. His phone number is one of the world’s most easily accessible—available at any bookstore in the country. He printed it in the back of Love Does, his best-selling collection of stories about a few ways he’s managed to turn each day into a “hilarious, whimsical, meaningful change to make faith simple and real.” As you dial the number, you might expect a hotline, or a secretary, or at least a voicemail. But you’ll get no such thing. Call the phone number, and you’ll be greeted with, “This is Bob Goff!”
If it’s possible for someone to become famous for no other reason than that he loves genuinely and lives fully, then Goff has done it. He’s a lawyer in Washington. He’s the Ugandan honorary consul to the U.S. He’s a professor at Pepperdine Law School and Point Loma Nazarene University. He’s the founder of Restore International, which serves underprivileged children in Uganda and India. His endless supply of stories charm, his overseas work inspires and his demeanor encourages—but the most truly fascinating thing about Bob Goff is Bob Goff.
Somehow, using the same 24 hours in a day the rest of us have, Goff has crafted an extraordinary life of adventure, joy and love. It’s an appealing prospect for anyone, and we wondered: What are his secrets? And: Will he share them?
The answer, as with most things in Goff’s life, was an emphatic yes.

1. Don't Let Anyone Go to Voicemail

“We get really busy,” Goff says. “But the less time Jesus had on earth, the more available He became to people.”
So when Goff put his phone number in the back of Love Does, he made the promise to himself to answer every call—regardless of whether or not he knew who it was. There are practical limits to this, of course. “I don’t feel guilty if I’m on the other line, or on a plane,” he says. But from where Goff sits, Jesus wouldn’t have ignored many phone calls. So neither does he. “If I get a call, I answer it,” he says. “And it’s been terrific!
“There’s a God we can talk to anytime, anywhere, about anything, and I’m so glad He doesn’t screen my calls—because I don’t have anything that’s particularly interesting to say. And I’m understanding that better because I’m available to people.”

2. Don't Make Appointments

Goff says, “When someone calls me and says, ‘Can we meet two Tuesdays from now at 3 p.m.?’ I say, ‘How about now?’ If you call me two Tuesdays from now at 3, I’ll probably say the same thing.”
That’s right. As implausible as it sounds, Bob Goff, lawyer and Ugandan consulate, doesn’t set appointments.
The benefit of this thinking becomes evident even now—he is, as we speak, driving home from an impromptu meeting with a young man who needed to talk.
“Guess what!” he says, laughing. “I didn’t have any appointments that I needed to cancel ... I’ve got all the time in the world because I don’t have any appointments.”
Goff insists when your life is appointment-free, your time is at the service of others instead of your personal demands. Plus, you become a different person when you structure your life around others’ needs.
“Can you imagine a lawyer who doesn’t make appointments?” Goff asks, recognizing the absurdity of it. “But it’s been great.”

3. Be Incredibly Inefficient at Love

“Don’t do an efficient brand of love,” Goff says.
Then he does what he does best—launches into a story without missing a beat.
“The woman who lives across the street from us has cancer. She called me up and told me the bad news, and I told her, ‘I’m not going to call you ever again.’ She’s like, ‘What?’
“I went to Radio Shack and got us two walkie-talkies, and it was terrific. For the last year, we’ve been talking on walkie-talkies every night. It’s like we’re both 14-year-olds and we’re both in tree forts.
“She took a turn for the worse about four days ago, so this morning, I woke up about 5, and I went to the hospital. I sent the nurse in with a walkie-talkie, and I sat in the next room and called her up. I heard her just start crying—because there’s something inefficient and beautiful about it. We were sitting in a hospital, separated by a room, talking on walkie-talkies.”
Here he breaks off and seems choked up for a moment.
Then he continues. “Be inefficient with your love. The more in-efficient, the better. It would have been a lot more efficient for God to not send Jesus to die for us. That was very inefficient love. But so sweet and so tender.”

4. Don't Have a Bible Study

When it comes to Bible studies, Goff says simply, “I’m done. I’ve got all the information I need.”
But this doesn’t leave the Bible out of his daily routine. To the contrary, he’s upped the ante.
“I’ve met with the same guys every Friday who I’ve been meeting with for a decade,” he says. “And we have a Bible Doing.”
The idea, Goff says, is basically that memorization is only effective if it motivates you to action. It’s great when believers meet together to internalize the Bible, but why not externalize it as well?
Goff is likewise unconventional in his approach to a morning quiet time. “I can’t do them,” he says. “I think I got sent to the principal too much when I was a kid.”
“Instead, I take Scripture, I let it wash over me, and I say, ‘What do I really think about this?’” Then he shares his reflections by sending out a morning tweet.
This morning habit helps his day start on the right foot in front of God and everyone else. “It helps me dwell in Christ,” he says. “But it also helps me not be a pill midday. I can’t send a beautiful tweet in the morning and then be a pill.”

5. Quit Stuff

“Every Thursday, I quit something,” Goff says. It’s one of his more infamous habits, one that he follows faithfully—and, often, dramatically. He’s been known to break apartment leases, throw out furniture and quit jobs. “You can quit cussing if you want,” he says, “but go a little higher up on the tree. It can be something really good.”
His most recent Thursday resignation was from the board of a prominent charity. “I called the guy that runs it up and said, ‘I’m out!’ And he said, ‘How come?’ And then he paused and said, ‘No! Thursday!’”
The idea is not to be a liability to charitable organizations (although that might be part of the fallout). It’s to give yourself room to grow and to give God room to work. The patterns of life can weigh down and hold back. Quitting things forces you forward to explore new opportunities, to try things you wouldn’t have time for otherwise and to fill your life with things that are fresh, different
and dangerous.

6. Do What You're Made to Do

In today’s functional culture, the common question is, “What am I able to do?” People take tests to determine skill sets and aptitude and then march off to pursue a career based on the results.
But Goff says the better question is, “What am I made to do?” He goes on to say, “It’s as simple as asking, ‘What are the things you think are beautiful? And you want in your life?’ ... And then there’s other stuff you stink at, and they cause you a bunch of stress. I just try and do more of the first and less of the second.”

7. Get More Unschooled, Ordinary Friends

For most people, friendship is accidental. You see someone often enough, find a few common interests, hang out and strike up an easy friendship. New friends probably come from the people you work with or go to church with. The childhood idea of “making friends,” a proactive pursuit, has been replaced with the idea of “letting friends happen.”
Goff suggests making friendship intentional and, moreover, risky. Because sometimes you can learn more from friends who stand just left of center than those with whom you share everything in common.
One of Goff’s dearest friendships began with a simple thank you, for example.
“They call me Mr. G at the airport, because I’m there just about every day,” Goff says. And before every flight, the same TSA security guard—Adrian—checked Goff’s ID. After a few months of this, Goff decided to extend his appreciation.
“You start every day for me,” he recalls telling Adrian. “When I think of you, I think of God. You’re so tender and kind to everybody!”
And just like that, the diminutive security guard put his arms around Goff and held him, in front of a line of waiting passengers. “It started this terrific friendship,” Goff says. “We spent the next six Christmases together with his family at our house.”
Adrian tragically passed away last summer, but not before coming to Jesus. “And now, when I think of heaven,” Goff says, “I don’t think of St. Peter. I think of a guy like Adrian, who’s checking IDs. And all of that came because I decided to get more unschooled, ordinary friends.”

8. Jump the Tracks

Goff spends most Wednesday mornings at Disneyland, prepping to teach his courses at Pepperdine University. From his vantage point on Tom Sawyer Island, he watches hundreds of park visitors board the monorail, content to be whisked wherever the train takes them.
And their park experience, says Goff, suffers because of it. The real adventure, both in Disneyland and in life, is when you venture outside the fixed loop.
But Goff is quick to point out there’s a difference between fighting the system and choosing to explore new paths outside the system. He says everyone should be jumping more tracks: “Not with a militancy. Not with a black arm band around your arm, just saying what you’re against. But with a resolve.”
And what can you expect to find off the beaten path? Adventure, and good company. “I’ll know more about my character, and I’ll know more about Jesus,” he says. “I’ll meet a lot of cool people.”

9. Crowd-Surf Each Other

At a speaking event, Goff met a man who had just received word that his 8-year-old son had been diagnosed with leukemia. Someone suggested everyone lay hands on him and pray for healing.
“That means the four dudes next to him put hands on him, and the guy in row 50 is really just putting hands on the guy in row 49,” he says.
Not satisfied with this set-up, Goff called out, just as the group was bowing their heads, “Let’s crowd surf this guy.”
So the man was passed up and down the rows of the auditorium. “That’s the picture that’s etched in my mind,” he says. “This man in agony and delight.”
Goff, who is big on physical touch, doesn’t shake hands. “If we say we’re the body of Christ, let’s act like it,” he says. “Let’s stop treating this faith thing like it’s a business trip. I want us to treat it like it’s a family. Family picks up the phone. Family surfs each other. Family hugs each other.”
Goff’s personal policy is to hug whoever he meets. It doesn’t suit everyone’s comfort zone, but he says it’s part of his identity as a believer. And the benefit of breaking through these bubbles of security is being opened up to a deeper understanding of community.
“I’m the big winner,” Goff insists, on crowd-surfing others. “I understand more about my faith and the idea of being a body.”

10. Take the Next Step

Many people are passionate but often have no idea how to get where they want to end up. Goff says you don’t really have to. You just have to start.
“If I could do this Jedi move over a lot of people, I’d just tell them to take the next step,” he says. “And then the next step. You don’t know all the steps, but most people know the next step.”
And even if not, Goff says that’s no excuse. “I’m not that freaked out about knowing what the next step is. Because I know that if I trip, I’ll fall forward. I’ll be moving toward the next thing.”

Nancy

A friend from my Fresno church passed away suddenly on Sunday.  She was 64, but other than being a diabetic, always appeared to be in excellent health.  Her heart just stopped beating, three times over the weekend while in the ER after going because she wasn't feeling well.  She passed during first service and they announced it in church.  We were all stunned.

She and her husband Gary were raising their two grandsons, Shawn (8) & Andy (6) after their daughter Colleen had become unable to take care of them.  Colleen had just gotten her life back together and regained custody of the boys.

Nancy was a children's ministry worker like me, but she had the 2-year-olds while I had the 3's, 4's or 5's.  And she had the Awana Cubbies, while I was in T&T or the Games Director.  She was one tough cookie, but fiercely loving.

In the memorial program was a 1" x 3" scrap of paper.  None one knew what they were for.  When Pastor Jim gave the message, he provided several anecdotes about Nancy, the most notable one being knowing when she had entered the sanctuary because she sat in the 2nd row behind him and he would smell her perfume, Red Door by Elizabeth Arden.  The scraps of paper were scented with that perfume.  It was a wonderful way to remember her.

The Work Left Behind

I was reading in Ecclesiastes 2:17-23 tonight and it reminded me of my days at my last job.

 

17 So I hated life, because the work that is done under the sun was grievous to me. All of it is meaningless, a chasing after the wind. 

18 I hated all the things I had toiled for under the sun, because I must leave them to the one who comes after me. 

19 And who knows whether he will be a wise man or a fool? Yet he will have control over all the work into which I have poured my effort and skill under the sun. This too is meaningless. 

20 So my heart began to despair over all my toilsome labor under the sun. 

21 For a man may do his work with wisdom, knowledge and skill, and then he must leave all he owns to someone who has not worked for it. This too is meaningless and a great misfortune. 

22 What does a man get for all the toil and anxious striving with which he labors under the sun? 

23 All his days his work is pain and grief; even at night his mind does not rest. This too is meaningless.  

I actually did love that job, my life was just very out of balance in it because of all its demands.

 

A friend and former coworker called me yesterday to ask about a company I had audited because a relative of his was interviewing for a job there. Without breaching confidentiality, I gave my friend some defining questions to pass on and ask.  When my friend asked me if I would take a job there if offered, I answered no.  They were a decent company, but they didn't foster the organizational culture I would want in a place I worked.

These verses struck me tonight because this conversation brought back so many memories, both good and painful.  But I mostly was saddened in this memory. I had put heart and soul into cleaning up that company's audit. It was a mess when I inherited it, but I had whipped that company into shape in paying attention to getting the audit done.

When I resigned, I put a lot of effort into passing the torch on this specific audit to my successor. I found out later from another coworker that the next two years of audits went miserably.  I don't know where fault lay, but I was just sad.

 

This passage is an important reminder to me not to put my self worth in my job and the career legacy I leave.  I am only to honor God where I am.  A tough lesson I keep working on.

Inventories

This past week has made me both resentful and grateful for what I have in my current job.

Our company's year end was Sunday, which means we have to have a solid count of our inventory.  When you have as much inventory as we do, it's a big job.  And if you're the Controller, it means it's ultimately your job to make sure it all gets done right.  Hours of planning, conference calls, scheduling, and running around went into this.

Thankfully, I work with a team of inventory managers who all understand how important this is.  Unfortunately, our computer system is not as understanding.  Some counts we did manually, others we were able to scan bar codes.

Then after my teams finish their counts and give me their reports, I share the reports with my financial statement auditors (the work I used to do) and let them count a few items to test our work.

There's a unique division of power between the Controller and the auditor.  As the auditor, I had the power to make as many test counts as I want, keep all the necessary employees around while I made my counts, and to request any documents I needed or wanted to see.  As the Controller, I have the power to tell the auditor when he/she is counting, and how much information is included on the reports (like prices to show what each item is worth).

And after spending all day Friday and Saturday getting the financial statement auditors happy, my bank auditors showed up this week, and they decided that they wanted to count all the inventory today, so we went and did it all again.  Upside: I was able to wear jeans to work today.  Downside: nothing else on my to-do list got done.

I am very tired.