So I seem to have almost completely recovered from tonsils surgery and went back to work on Monday. The recovery process was brutal, but having some time off work was beyond needed. I have been far too stressed out over getting a big project done. I got my voice mostly back on the 5th, eight days after the surgery, but it was still regularly giving out on me.
I had my follow-up with the doctor on Tuesday, and he said I'm healing well and can resume normal activities. Good thing since I had restarted karate a week prior and work the day before the appointment. I did wait to run until after the appointment, but that was only because of scheduling conflicts with my running partners.
So I came back to work with a lot on my plate. On Monday and Tuesday, I called it quits after 8 hours, but Wednesday and Thursday were 14-hour days. Friday was 9. That's 53 hours for the week, and I still feel dead from it all. I can't help but feel like I've gone soft. I used to do 55+ for weeks on end back at Deloitte.
I need to remember to cut myself some slack for recovering from surgery. My voice and overall energy levels were not at their peak.
I try to remember that with my running too. Amy, Alicia, Dina and I ran 5 miles this morning, at a 10:15 pace. Way slower than our pre-Christmas pace, and I was not holding the team back, but I was the only one who had been under doctor's orders not to run. But I decided to be grateful for the distance, because Amy and I have a half-marathon in less than a month, and we just need to finish.
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Tonsils
So I had my tonsils out yesterday. I’ve been on the fence about having the
surgery for the last three months. Just
having surgery is a risk. I’m not sure
if this will ultimately help my sleep apnea.
I hope it will help with just generally not getting sick as often during
the year.
This sleep apnea journey has been a long, painful and
expensive one. That last part is why I
had the surgery now. I had met my
deductible for 2011, so I needed to get the surgery in before 2012. Terrible timing for work with our audit still
going, but thankfully my company lives out the saying that our health comes
first.
I had prepped the house as best I could. I had made two batches of jello and poured
them into individual Styrofoam cups to set.
The house was clean and as uncluttered as I could get it. My friend Josh was going to come spend the
night in my spare room to make sure I didn’t die post-op.
I was scheduled as of Friday to show up at the surgery
center at 11:30 for a 12:45 surgery time on Wednesday. On Wednesday morning around 9:15, they called
to move up my check-in time to 10:30. So
I called my friend Amy, who’d be giving me a ride to and from the surgery. To accommodate the time move-up, I went and
picked up her sister Andrea, who’d be her kids’ baby-sitter for the day,
dropped Andrea off and picked up Amy.
I had to stop eating and drinking as of midnight on Tuesday
night, so I was pretty glad to move up the time because I was starving. What I was worried about was that I was
starting to feel a little sick on Tuesday night, and it was a little more
enhanced Wednesday morning. A light
cough and a mucus-y feeling in my throat Tuesday had advanced to include a mild
headache and some congestion tightness in my chest. And I couldn’t take any drugs for it. I was a little worried they’d cancel the
surgery, but I called and they said it most likely wouldn’t be a deal-breaker,
but the anesthesiologist would make the call.
We arrived and one of my Fresno church pastors met us there
to pray with me before going in. We read
over a few verses in Isaiah that discussed God’s authority over
everything. I was finding I wasn’t so
anxious over the surgery itself, but over all the to-do list items surrounding
the surgery. e.g., I hadn’t gotten a
call from the doctor’s office the day prior to arrange getting all my
medications in advance.
I checked in, and got changed and on the gurney. The first nurse couldn’t understand that I wanted
something for lumbar support on my lower back.
She first tried bringing me two huge pillows to put under each of my
arms. I finally asked for a rolled towel
or something, and that helped her understand that. I was a little difficult with her, not
snapping and being rude, and I felt bad about that. The hunger and nerves over the surgery were
getting to me and I knew I’d need to tried to keep it in check. I was also pretty tired for some reason.
Then another nurse Kelly came in to start my IV, and she was
awesome. She just had a very calming
voice tone and presence. That helped my
reset my attitude. After my IV was in, Amy
was able to come back and help keep me entertained while I waited. We tried to get before pictures of my tonsils
with limited success. The anesthesiologist
Dr. C. and then the surgeon Dr. T. each came in separately to go over the plan
for the morning. Dr. C. was a young
Asian woman of whom Amy wanted to ask her age to make sure she could even
drive. Dr. C. was great, talking me
through her game plan for pain management and some of the what-if’s that are
natural variables depending on how I react to the pain meds and the type of
surgery.
Dr. T. came in and was a little foreboding. He had wanted to take my tonsils as well as
cut into my uvula and upper palate to widen the space for the airway. He was also coming in to check on the details
because I was only scheduled to have tonsils out. He had forgotten our phone call and couldn’t
locate his notes in my file outlining my request for the change. Based on what I had read online (I didn’t
tell him this bc I know that’d be a trigger point of the unreliability of online
info), when doing this surgery for sleep apnea, the doctor’s version of a “successful”
surgery is different from the patient’s.
There are usually side effects of liquid by mouth coming out the nose
more often, and some other stuff more related to the sleep issue that I don’t
recall now. I just wasn’t feeling at
peace about him cutting into the upper palate even before my online research,
so I told him he could only take my tonsils.
He hit it over and over again that just a tonsillectomy is not a
recognized surgical treatment plan for adults (it is for kids, but bc the
palate descends as our mouth forms into adulthood, some of that often needs to
go too). He didn’t want me coming back
and complaining later that I didn’t work.
I thanked him and reassured him that I again (2nd time for
this speech bc of our phone call) understood the risks. I was hopeful this would help (but maybe not
cure) the sleep apnea as well as also just help with generally getting sick
this year.
I was glad Amy was there because I was a little on edge
after his visit. Amy is a nurse, and she
reminded me that surgeons stereotypically have that “I know what’s best, do it
my way” demeanor. She also helped me understand
that surgeons have a monitored success rate for their surgeries, and so he’s
motivated to do a surgery that has the greatest chance of curing my
problem. He also may get paid more if he
takes the upper palate too. I hope that
isn’t part of his motivation, and am deciding not to presume that motive upon
him.
They finally wheeled me into surgery and helped me get
situated. These nurses understood me
needing lumbar support. Then Dr. C. knocked
me out.
When I woke up, I was in recovery. I was told everything went fine. I think I regained cognitive abilities pretty
fast, but I was still pretty sleepy.
They set me up in a recliner, and I asked for ice chips because my mouth
was dry and my stomach was empty. I
heard Amy outside my room talking with the nurses. Apparently getting my pain meds had been
quite a journey and she still had to try and get two of the four prescriptions
because of complications with the pharmacy being out at one location and them
not communicating with releasing the orders at one to be filled by another. She was trying to decide whether to go now,
or wait and get them on the way home with me.
I said to go now, and they were all surprised that I was awake and
comprehended that.
Kelly and Mary Lou were my recovery nurses, and they kept me
loaded up with popsicles and IV meds. I
was antsy to get out of there, so I asked for writing materials and wrote up and accounting memo I knew I would need for work, and once I got my phone back I was typing out
messages for them to read. When I was
finally released to go and Mary Lou was helping me into the wheelchair, I typed
out, “So I get to drive home, right?”
That really got her and Amy laughing, and me as well. They said if I’m laughing leaving the surgery
center, it’s a good sign. I even tried
redirecting her to the driver’s side of my car when we got to the curb. :-)
There were a few other things about being an oldest child and needing to
be in control that we laughed over.
As Amy drove me home, I started to get a little woozy just
from being on an empty stomach, so we stopped for Jamba Juice on the way. Amy helped get me situated and wrote out a
pain med chart for me to keep track of them all for me, which I would later be
very grateful for. I was still starving
though, so hungry that I couldn’t fall asleep, but couldn’t figure out what I
could eat that would fill me up. So Amy
went to pick me up some ensure/slim fast-type drinks since those would be loaded
up like a meal.
While she was out, I started watching a movie but only made
it through 20 min of it before deciding to just lay down. My auditors sent me a really nice floral
arrangement that was left on my doorstep.
So I was lying on the couch and all the lights were off, and it had just
done dark outside when Amy returned. I
heard the garage door so I texted her to say I was awake and that she could
turn on lights and not worry about being quiet.
She didn’t see them before coming in.
I was cold and pretty tired, so I didn’t feel like getting up at that
point. She finally started rummaging
around in my cupboards, and so I texted her to ask what she was looking
for. She heard that notification and laughed
over me texting her about all that.
Once I finally was able to fill up my stomach, I was doing
much better, but I was wide awake. My
pain level on a 10-scale was about a 5 when I swallowed and a 1 the rest of the
time.
I brought out paper or would type on my phone so we could
converse some. We listened to a few CD’s
of a purity weekend she’s going to be taking her oldest son Jaden (11) on next
week, and I’m going to show up for some of the guys-only sessions to help her
out. Then we played Scrabble. Our friend Stephanie showed up around 7 to
check in on me, not knowing Amy would be around. She helped Amy out. As I wowed them with a couple words, I even
got a chance to mouth, “I was homeschooled” once. That brought laughter. On Vicoden (which I really don’t feel any
buzz from, so I’m really baffled now as to how people get hooked on this), I won
by 80 points, and she even got the X and Z.
We just hung out for the evening and talked. I brought out my laptop and sat between them
on the couch typing out my parts of the conversation. I kept meaning to and hope to still borrow a
projector that I can plug into my laptop so I can just project what I type onto
a wall to converse more easily with company since I’m not supposed to be
talking for awhile.
Josh showed up around 10 after his swing dance class to spend the night. Andrea drove over with the kids to pick up Amy and Stephanie left soon after. Josh and I hung out and talked (me typing) for awhile. I was glad I was as self-sufficient as I was post-op. I really didn’t want to be in a position of Josh needing to take care of me. I was wide awake, so we popped in Firefly to watch a few episodes. Josh is a teacher and a night-owl, so he’s been staying up until all hours anyway while on Christmas break. I tried a couple of times to go to sleep, and it took on the second attempt.
Josh showed up around 10 after his swing dance class to spend the night. Andrea drove over with the kids to pick up Amy and Stephanie left soon after. Josh and I hung out and talked (me typing) for awhile. I was glad I was as self-sufficient as I was post-op. I really didn’t want to be in a position of Josh needing to take care of me. I was wide awake, so we popped in Firefly to watch a few episodes. Josh is a teacher and a night-owl, so he’s been staying up until all hours anyway while on Christmas break. I tried a couple of times to go to sleep, and it took on the second attempt.
Waking up to my alarm in the middle of the night was no
problem to take my meds, and I fell right back asleep. I only ended up sleeping for about five
hours, and then just wasn’t tired anymore.
Hopefully I’ll get tired later and can sleep more then.
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Christmas 2011
I've been in quite the funk this December, dreading Christmas and just wanting to sleep through it. Work isn't going well, and I'm having my tonsils out on Wednesday to treat my sleep apnea. I've been trying everything to seek out joy: lots of Christmas activities, spending as much time as possible with friends, trying to give more, spending time in the Word. But none of it was "sticking."
I didn't even decorate my house or put up a tree this year. I'm normally a tree-goes-up-day-after-Thanksgiving kind of guy, and keeping it up until middle of January.
I was reminded of John Grisham's book Skipping Christmas. I definitely sought out Christmas outside my home, engaging as much Christmas as time allowed. But I've realized I wanted a year off here at home. My Christmas decorations are nice, but fairly simple, most of them inherited from my grandmother.
When I step back and count my blessings, I have a lot of them. Especially when I look at how I no longer travel for work and have more time at home and for ministry and hobbies. But I wasn't feeling grateful for those blessings.
I couldn't decide how to spend this Christmas. Mostly, I just wanted to sleep through it and pretend it wasn't happening. But part of me wanted to be in Orange County to see friends and family since I had been sick the week prior when I had really wanted to make it down for the Christmas service at VBC. I was half packed for a couple days leading up to Christmas, and there just kept being one more thing to stick around for here in Fresno: work, running, dr appt, giving Amy's kids their Christmas presents, living nativity, karaoke with the guys...the list kept growing. Christmas Eve dinner at Mom and Dad's was at 6p, but Mom said they'd hold it a little if needed. So at noon on Christmas Eve, I called it. I wasn't going down, even though I was salivating over the thought of Mom's ham.
I went to visit my neighbors Haig and Valerie on Friday night. I lived with them the summer before I graduated, when I had an accounting internship here in town. Then I ended up buying a house five doors down from them three years later. I went over to catch up and helped wash some dishes as Valerie baked. Haig told me how they were spending Christmas Day, by taking Christmas dinner to Children's Hospital where Valerie works, to the rehab dept. The kids there can't leave, and so it's a chance for them to have Christmas dinner with their families, as well as for the doctors and nurses working to have a Christmas dinner as well. They invited me to come along.
Once I decided to stay in Fresno, I knew that's what I needed to do. A lot of the reading I've been doing this year is around how God has a specific call for singles in the church to use their extra time to serve. I could tell when I woke up this morning that I had a purpose in doing this today. I would have otherwise flitted away the day watching Christmas movies. It was a wonderful day! Haig, Valerie, her sister Robin and I showed up at 8:30 to start prepping everything, and then put the food out around noon. People then just cycled through informally. I got to meet a few patients, a few nurses, but mostly doctors. I got to hear some of their stories and share mine. Everyone was so grateful to us for coming.
That finally got me joyful about Christmas. God always comes through.
Mom seemed okay about me missing Christmas, but was a little sad when we talked afterward saying, "You're probably going to want to start doing this every year, huh?" I'm not sure yet, but probably.
Another highlight was our Christmas Eve service at CBC. Jim gave a wonderful message about the history and significance of giving gifts, turning GIFTS into an acronym of gifts we can give each other: Grace, Improvement, Forgiveness, Time and Salvation. Got to see several families, but seeing Steve and Kathi was the highlight. Former missionaries to Japan, they now train future missionaries while living in Fullerton, but were visiting Fresno to seeing their kids whom I went to FPU with. Megan came with her fiance Yenisaw from Ethiopia. Megan is like a little sister to me, and it was nice to finally meet Yenisaw and feel reassured that she picked a good guy.
All (that I currently recall of) the wonderful Christmas stuff I did this year with friends:
-Messiah Sing-along with Hanna and her parents Harold & Linda
-Tuba Christmas at Manchester Mall with CBC families
-visiting model train aficionados open houses with CBC families
-walking Christmas Tree Lane with Amy and her kids, with a fire, hot chocolate & cider at my house afterward
-baking for 10-year-old Rebecca's Compassion International bake sale with Katie M.
-Christmas caroling in the church neighborhood with CBC families
-Awana's "Trim Your Leader" Night
-Second Harvest and Project Touch with VBC, getting to spend the morning with Nicholas, a kid I had in my 4-year-olds' Sunday School class 10 years ago
-visiting with as many VBC families as possible on my one weekend down there when I really thought I'd have three weekends down there
-making 150 lbs of Almond Roca
-Karate class Christmas Party & White Elephant gift exchange
-Spades night & $5 gift card exchange
-adult Christmas Choir concert at CBC
-walking Candy Cane Lane with my Sunday School class, borrowing three of friends' kids whose parents were up to going, and spending the evening with the SS class for cookies at Garry & Jenny's open house
-Christmas cookie exchange with coworkers (and being declared better than Quinn because of my almond roca and forgotten cookies)
-visiting the living nativity in Riverdale with Haig, Valerie and Drew
-singing "O Come All Ye Faithful" (first verse in Latin, which drew much applause) at karaoke with the guys
-Christmas Eve Service at CBC
-serving Christmas dinner with Haig, Valerie & Robin at Children's Hospital
-eating Christmas dinner with Haig, Valerie & family at their house afterward
-watching lots of Christmas movies throughout the month
I didn't even decorate my house or put up a tree this year. I'm normally a tree-goes-up-day-after-Thanksgiving kind of guy, and keeping it up until middle of January.
I was reminded of John Grisham's book Skipping Christmas. I definitely sought out Christmas outside my home, engaging as much Christmas as time allowed. But I've realized I wanted a year off here at home. My Christmas decorations are nice, but fairly simple, most of them inherited from my grandmother.
When I step back and count my blessings, I have a lot of them. Especially when I look at how I no longer travel for work and have more time at home and for ministry and hobbies. But I wasn't feeling grateful for those blessings.
I couldn't decide how to spend this Christmas. Mostly, I just wanted to sleep through it and pretend it wasn't happening. But part of me wanted to be in Orange County to see friends and family since I had been sick the week prior when I had really wanted to make it down for the Christmas service at VBC. I was half packed for a couple days leading up to Christmas, and there just kept being one more thing to stick around for here in Fresno: work, running, dr appt, giving Amy's kids their Christmas presents, living nativity, karaoke with the guys...the list kept growing. Christmas Eve dinner at Mom and Dad's was at 6p, but Mom said they'd hold it a little if needed. So at noon on Christmas Eve, I called it. I wasn't going down, even though I was salivating over the thought of Mom's ham.
I went to visit my neighbors Haig and Valerie on Friday night. I lived with them the summer before I graduated, when I had an accounting internship here in town. Then I ended up buying a house five doors down from them three years later. I went over to catch up and helped wash some dishes as Valerie baked. Haig told me how they were spending Christmas Day, by taking Christmas dinner to Children's Hospital where Valerie works, to the rehab dept. The kids there can't leave, and so it's a chance for them to have Christmas dinner with their families, as well as for the doctors and nurses working to have a Christmas dinner as well. They invited me to come along.
Once I decided to stay in Fresno, I knew that's what I needed to do. A lot of the reading I've been doing this year is around how God has a specific call for singles in the church to use their extra time to serve. I could tell when I woke up this morning that I had a purpose in doing this today. I would have otherwise flitted away the day watching Christmas movies. It was a wonderful day! Haig, Valerie, her sister Robin and I showed up at 8:30 to start prepping everything, and then put the food out around noon. People then just cycled through informally. I got to meet a few patients, a few nurses, but mostly doctors. I got to hear some of their stories and share mine. Everyone was so grateful to us for coming.
That finally got me joyful about Christmas. God always comes through.
Mom seemed okay about me missing Christmas, but was a little sad when we talked afterward saying, "You're probably going to want to start doing this every year, huh?" I'm not sure yet, but probably.
Another highlight was our Christmas Eve service at CBC. Jim gave a wonderful message about the history and significance of giving gifts, turning GIFTS into an acronym of gifts we can give each other: Grace, Improvement, Forgiveness, Time and Salvation. Got to see several families, but seeing Steve and Kathi was the highlight. Former missionaries to Japan, they now train future missionaries while living in Fullerton, but were visiting Fresno to seeing their kids whom I went to FPU with. Megan came with her fiance Yenisaw from Ethiopia. Megan is like a little sister to me, and it was nice to finally meet Yenisaw and feel reassured that she picked a good guy.
All (that I currently recall of) the wonderful Christmas stuff I did this year with friends:
-Messiah Sing-along with Hanna and her parents Harold & Linda
-Tuba Christmas at Manchester Mall with CBC families
-visiting model train aficionados open houses with CBC families
-walking Christmas Tree Lane with Amy and her kids, with a fire, hot chocolate & cider at my house afterward
-baking for 10-year-old Rebecca's Compassion International bake sale with Katie M.
-Christmas caroling in the church neighborhood with CBC families
-Awana's "Trim Your Leader" Night
-Second Harvest and Project Touch with VBC, getting to spend the morning with Nicholas, a kid I had in my 4-year-olds' Sunday School class 10 years ago
-visiting with as many VBC families as possible on my one weekend down there when I really thought I'd have three weekends down there
-making 150 lbs of Almond Roca
-Karate class Christmas Party & White Elephant gift exchange
-Spades night & $5 gift card exchange
-adult Christmas Choir concert at CBC
-walking Candy Cane Lane with my Sunday School class, borrowing three of friends' kids whose parents were up to going, and spending the evening with the SS class for cookies at Garry & Jenny's open house
-Christmas cookie exchange with coworkers (and being declared better than Quinn because of my almond roca and forgotten cookies)
-visiting the living nativity in Riverdale with Haig, Valerie and Drew
-singing "O Come All Ye Faithful" (first verse in Latin, which drew much applause) at karaoke with the guys
-Christmas Eve Service at CBC
-serving Christmas dinner with Haig, Valerie & Robin at Children's Hospital
-eating Christmas dinner with Haig, Valerie & family at their house afterward
-watching lots of Christmas movies throughout the month
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
2011 Year in Review
So it's time for the annual wrap-up. 2011 was a year of monumental changes. I had no idea I'd be where I am now.
Can I say that I'm glad 2011 is finally over? It's been absolutely exhausting. There's not a lot on this list quantitatively, but qualitatively, it's been huge.
And I wonder what's next.
My 2011 resolution was to actively work at getting more rest. I think I'm sleeping more (or at least doing better at not skipping sleep like I used to), but all the change and stress of this year triggered my sleep apnea diagnosis. That's the goal behind getting my tonsils out. So I'd say I did a decent job at that resolution in 2011.
I think in 2012, I want to work at having a better understanding of what God has planned for me in ministry. I love what I'm doing in my church now and wonder how God wants me to better use this extra time I have when I'm not working now that I'll soon have a year of experience under me in this new job.
Can I say that I'm glad 2011 is finally over? It's been absolutely exhausting. There's not a lot on this list quantitatively, but qualitatively, it's been huge.
- Finished most of Busy Season #5, this one was a tie with #4 for worst one.
- Got a new job in April
- Took up kenpo karate, and have so far advanced to yellow belt rank
- Completed 5th & 6th boys' leader term in Awana and started term as Games Director (who would have guessed that from the type of kid I was?)--and I thought 5th and 6th grade boys was a stretch last year
- Did my first (sprint) triathlon
- Biked the Fresno Classic Mini-Metric (35 mi) ride
- Injured my heel doing sprints to train for a marathon
- Ran the Trail of Two Cities Half Marathon in near-record time
- Started my own Spades group
- Daniel moved out in September, amicable departure, but it was time for me to live alone again
- Started feeling as though I actually lived in my own house
- Started teaching Kindergarten Sunday School once a month
- Flew up to Seattle to move my sister Joy back into the dorms for her sophomore year
- Bought a new car, 1999 Toyota RAV4
- Bartended at a wedding (just wine and champagne, very easy, but very fun)
- Flew an airplane through a Groupon deal
- 2nd Christmas spent in Fresno
- Got my tonsils taken out
And I wonder what's next.
My 2011 resolution was to actively work at getting more rest. I think I'm sleeping more (or at least doing better at not skipping sleep like I used to), but all the change and stress of this year triggered my sleep apnea diagnosis. That's the goal behind getting my tonsils out. So I'd say I did a decent job at that resolution in 2011.
I think in 2012, I want to work at having a better understanding of what God has planned for me in ministry. I love what I'm doing in my church now and wonder how God wants me to better use this extra time I have when I'm not working now that I'll soon have a year of experience under me in this new job.
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Thanksgiving 2011
It took until earlier this week, but I was reminded of why Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. It's not a simple answer, such as "no gifts," "little commercialization," "time with friends/family."
It was in my whole week. I had been struggling this year with getting into the holiday spirit. Normally I love the colder weather, the Thanksgiving and Christmas traditions...all of it. But this year, I'd been discontented, irritable, but really trying not to show it.
My favorite event at my Fresno church is our annual Harvest Banquet, a massive potluck where we fill the church gym and reflect on God's blessings from the past year. I enjoyed it but for whatever reason, I wasn't "feeling it."
I'm sure a lot of it is the increased stress at work right now, with our audit well underway and threatening to continue through to New Years. Ugh.
There's an old-fashioned "Lessons & Carols" concert that the FPU choir puts on every year that I also cherish. But this year, I didn't feel like going, so I just decided to stop forcing myself on this.
I received a visit from Fred & Cinda on their way north for Thanksgiving on Tuesday and was able to spend the afternoon with them. It was wonderful to get a touch of Orange County since I haven't been able to get down there in two months and December doesn't seem hopeful for any significant visit.
On Wednesday, my auditors gave me a much-needed break to catch up and worked from their office. So I was able to have a nice feeling of a productive workday.
That evening, I called Amy to borrow one of her children to help me bake a dessert for Thanksgiving dinner. So I picked up Jaden (11 years old) to come over and spend the night. Baking was a series of misadventures, but we had fun. I accidentally gave Jaden a can of cut sweet potatoes to open instead of pumpkin pie filling (the cans are the same size, and generally used the same time of year). So I texted Amy to let her know I'd be bringing candied yams in addition to a pumpkin dump cake. Then I scorched one of my pans trying to glaze pecans. The burned sugared pecans were a nice snack though, kind of like burned caramel popcorn. I ran out of flour, and could only make one loaf of an apple bread recipe I had been wanting to try, but stupidly mixed the ingredients in the wrong order, and had to add a lot of oil to get the whole stupid thing to gel into dough. It came out very bland and I ended up throwing it away. Oh well, we had fun and laughed a lot.
On Thursday morning, I babysat Todd and Alicia's 4.5-year-old twin boys Griffin and Derek so they could go play volleyball with a group of their friends. These kids are so precious. I brought with me "Don't Spill the Beans" given to me for Christmas by Joanna for Christmas a couple years back and construction paper strips for advent chains. The boys loved both, plus wrestling with them all over the living room. Thankfully, they have very big padded furniture, perfect for catching children hurtling through the air, although their recliners do tip a little too easily.
Thanksgiving Dinner was over at Amy's, and we probably had 20-25 people. Amy's mom Joan had actually been assigned sweet potatoes and brought six pans with different varieties, so mine never got put out. But my dump cake was a hit. All the food was delicious, and we ate until we were stuffed. The crowning moment was having someone bring a German white wine (only a couple of us drink) that no one could pronounce the name of, and me telling Wilma (Amy's aunt), a wonderful, loud, southern-to-the-core, black woman from Texas, "Them is MY people." We all burst out laughing, and Wilma was thrilled to finally know "where y'all is from."
After we cleaned up, Amy and I went for a quick walk around the block just to try to relieve our soon-to-be-aching stomachs before I took my leftovers and headed home exhausted. I built a fire and my friend Stephanie came over and we watched a couple Christmas movies.
And I avoided all Black Friday shopping by responding to my sisters' texts of what I wanted for Christmas with the movies I wanted that were on sale at various stores. It was great.
On Saturday, I ran 6.5 miles with Alicia, Karey and Amy. Karey and I hung out at Starbucks for a couple hours afterward talking. It was neat to get to hear more of his story of how God brought him and his family to Fresno. I spent the whole middle of the day in front of the fireplace just blogging and getting computer stuff done. Then Spades that evening.
On Sunday, I attended a church budget Q&A in anticipation of the business meeting next week. I always enjoy getting to see how God is doing in the church with numbers and finances. I taught Kindergarten during second hour, and God graced me with only seven kids. A much-needed blessing since I had gotten my lessons mixed up and prepared the wrong story.
In the afternoon, I went with my friend Hanna to a choir sing-along of Handel's Messiah at a Presbyterian church downtown. No performance, just everyone showing up, sitting in sections by vocal part, and singing through about 2/3 of the whole score. Hanna's dad and I sat together, and he's a crack-up. It was just an encouraging afternoon.
So I'm still not 100% "in the holiday spirit" this year. The house isn't decorated yet, and I don't know if it will be. I think I just need to focus on the simple and restful opportunities. God will take care of the rest.
It was in my whole week. I had been struggling this year with getting into the holiday spirit. Normally I love the colder weather, the Thanksgiving and Christmas traditions...all of it. But this year, I'd been discontented, irritable, but really trying not to show it.
My favorite event at my Fresno church is our annual Harvest Banquet, a massive potluck where we fill the church gym and reflect on God's blessings from the past year. I enjoyed it but for whatever reason, I wasn't "feeling it."
I'm sure a lot of it is the increased stress at work right now, with our audit well underway and threatening to continue through to New Years. Ugh.
There's an old-fashioned "Lessons & Carols" concert that the FPU choir puts on every year that I also cherish. But this year, I didn't feel like going, so I just decided to stop forcing myself on this.
I received a visit from Fred & Cinda on their way north for Thanksgiving on Tuesday and was able to spend the afternoon with them. It was wonderful to get a touch of Orange County since I haven't been able to get down there in two months and December doesn't seem hopeful for any significant visit.
On Wednesday, my auditors gave me a much-needed break to catch up and worked from their office. So I was able to have a nice feeling of a productive workday.
That evening, I called Amy to borrow one of her children to help me bake a dessert for Thanksgiving dinner. So I picked up Jaden (11 years old) to come over and spend the night. Baking was a series of misadventures, but we had fun. I accidentally gave Jaden a can of cut sweet potatoes to open instead of pumpkin pie filling (the cans are the same size, and generally used the same time of year). So I texted Amy to let her know I'd be bringing candied yams in addition to a pumpkin dump cake. Then I scorched one of my pans trying to glaze pecans. The burned sugared pecans were a nice snack though, kind of like burned caramel popcorn. I ran out of flour, and could only make one loaf of an apple bread recipe I had been wanting to try, but stupidly mixed the ingredients in the wrong order, and had to add a lot of oil to get the whole stupid thing to gel into dough. It came out very bland and I ended up throwing it away. Oh well, we had fun and laughed a lot.
On Thursday morning, I babysat Todd and Alicia's 4.5-year-old twin boys Griffin and Derek so they could go play volleyball with a group of their friends. These kids are so precious. I brought with me "Don't Spill the Beans" given to me for Christmas by Joanna for Christmas a couple years back and construction paper strips for advent chains. The boys loved both, plus wrestling with them all over the living room. Thankfully, they have very big padded furniture, perfect for catching children hurtling through the air, although their recliners do tip a little too easily.
Thanksgiving Dinner was over at Amy's, and we probably had 20-25 people. Amy's mom Joan had actually been assigned sweet potatoes and brought six pans with different varieties, so mine never got put out. But my dump cake was a hit. All the food was delicious, and we ate until we were stuffed. The crowning moment was having someone bring a German white wine (only a couple of us drink) that no one could pronounce the name of, and me telling Wilma (Amy's aunt), a wonderful, loud, southern-to-the-core, black woman from Texas, "Them is MY people." We all burst out laughing, and Wilma was thrilled to finally know "where y'all is from."
After we cleaned up, Amy and I went for a quick walk around the block just to try to relieve our soon-to-be-aching stomachs before I took my leftovers and headed home exhausted. I built a fire and my friend Stephanie came over and we watched a couple Christmas movies.
And I avoided all Black Friday shopping by responding to my sisters' texts of what I wanted for Christmas with the movies I wanted that were on sale at various stores. It was great.
On Saturday, I ran 6.5 miles with Alicia, Karey and Amy. Karey and I hung out at Starbucks for a couple hours afterward talking. It was neat to get to hear more of his story of how God brought him and his family to Fresno. I spent the whole middle of the day in front of the fireplace just blogging and getting computer stuff done. Then Spades that evening.
On Sunday, I attended a church budget Q&A in anticipation of the business meeting next week. I always enjoy getting to see how God is doing in the church with numbers and finances. I taught Kindergarten during second hour, and God graced me with only seven kids. A much-needed blessing since I had gotten my lessons mixed up and prepared the wrong story.
In the afternoon, I went with my friend Hanna to a choir sing-along of Handel's Messiah at a Presbyterian church downtown. No performance, just everyone showing up, sitting in sections by vocal part, and singing through about 2/3 of the whole score. Hanna's dad and I sat together, and he's a crack-up. It was just an encouraging afternoon.
So I'm still not 100% "in the holiday spirit" this year. The house isn't decorated yet, and I don't know if it will be. I think I just need to focus on the simple and restful opportunities. God will take care of the rest.
Friday, November 11, 2011
Day 1 of Men’s Retreat
I’m surprisingly not stressed about the audit and am just
enjoying myself up here. I rode up with
Shavarsh, Garry, and Sam (a guy I didn’t really know). I left work at 1 p.m., and am still so
grateful to not have to meet chargeable hours goals anymore.
We checked in and went straight to dinner. Hume food is always amazing. I always overeat here, but oh well. It’s one weekend to completely splurge.
As an icebreaker, we broke into our small groups for
“minute-to-win-it”-type challenges, where one guy from each of the eight groups
goes up for each challenge. I thought I
might have it for most sit-ups in 30 seconds, but I only did 20, and another
guy did 31. Unfortunately I had on a
newer pair of jeans, and I’m a little bruised from the belt loop. I have Trevor B., Sam M., Bryan W., and Matt
S. in my group.
Our theme this weekend is No More Excuses, building off the
movie Courageous. Josh, a guy in our church is a Chowchilla
police officer, and works with Code+3 ministries, a ministry based out of our
church for supporting law enforcement.
He’ll be talking off the acronym REAL this weekend. Tonight R stood for “Reject Passivity,” and
he talked about Simon Peter. Josh
commended Simon Peter for wanting Jesus so much that he’d believe Christ could
make him walk on water in the midst of the storm that he’d get out of a boat 4
miles out to sea. Who cares that he got
distracted from Christ (which we all do)?
He got out of the boat!
Josh also touched on the church at Laodicea being lukewarm
in Revelation 3:14-22. But he took it a
step further to Revelation 4 being our promise of what’s to come if we get
white hot for God and reject passivity.
A couple questions so far have been very convicting for
me. What will it take for me to become
white hot toward God? What’s keeping me
passive toward Christ? Work, family,
sin, money, status, etc. This is where
it really hit me. Josh and his wife lost
their first baby Elijah eight years ago.
Our whole church was praying for this baby born with a hole in his
heart. When their second son Lincoln had
the same defect, he had surgery in the womb and a full heart transplant a few
months after birth. Josh knows pain like
few others. And for him to say, “Lord,
take my family if that’s what it takes to draw me to you.” Wow.
But this is God, so if we really know how awesome He is, even our family
can’t compare.
After the talk, we went back to Ponderosa for snacks (Hume’s
amazing cookies, along with milk). I
think I had six, which isn’t good considering I ate 3 doughnuts that the
auditors brought this morning. But
they’re so good!
They moved the Spades tournament to tonight since so many
guys are going home after tomorrow’s talk.
I like the change because the weekend always feels overscheduled to
me. This way we get that done tonight
when I want to hang out and talk with guys anyway, and it’s one less thing on
tomorrow’s agenda. I partnered up with
Mike B. and he gave us the team name “Zero to Heroes,” because he and his
brother got exactly zero points in the tournament two years ago. We played against Trevor and a new guy Alan,
and lost 245 to 2. Not much of a climb
from 0. I wasn’t disappointed with
losing or getting eliminated in the first round, but that our game went fast
and was over. Mike proposed a
consolation (or “consolidation” as he called it) round, and that ended up being
a lot of fun. Russ went Blind Nil in the
third hand, not knowing he had the three non-Spade aces. Then Tim, this being his first night playing
Spades, led out with the three of clubs.
I played the two, Russ played the five, and Mike came in with the
four. It was pure chaos from there. Russ had so many points that we ended up
getting set. But that was a redeeming
game in my mind just for the fun of playing rather than us winning.
There are a lot less guys this year, probably only 45, where
we’ve been 100+ in some previous years.
We’re only using one cabin this year.
I’m bunking with Jon D., Jeff J., Daniel Y., and Matt S.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Half Marathon #4
I don't know whether I should have done this one or not. I came within a minute of my personal record. The bummer is that I thought I had beaten my Denver record by 30 seconds, but my memory of what that record was failed me on race day.
I left it ALL on the race course. I had nothing--no fuel, no kick, no sprint--left at the end.
Recovering from my heel injury and not planning out my training well really did me in. I was able to run the whole time. But I knew starting a couple days in advance I wasn't ready for this race, physically or mentally. I wasn't excited about it. I wanted it over. I just put my head down and gave it a brute force effort through those 13.1 miles. I was excited to see friends cheering or out on the race course, but not about the experience of the run.
As I crossed the finish line, this one medic wouldn't let me past her. She was insisting I come with her to the tent and kept asking me if I was all right. I told her I just needed to walk it off, but she wouldn't hear of it. Another one came, and they just about carried me to the medic tent. They had to walk me step-by-step through how to lay down on the cot because I couldn't handle the whole motion in one instruction.
I told them my legs were cramping a little and that I thought I just needed some protein, they had some milk in the post-race area. They elevated my legs. My head was getting really hot, so they put some ice on me. They poured some water in my mouth and also some salt to hydrate me and get my electrolytes up. In a little while I was apparently doing better and they let me go. As I was leaving the tent, I was still pretty queasy and out of it, but doing better. I could walk in a semi-straight line. And just as I left I heard someone call my last name, and I saw another set of medics dragging in my buddy Cassidy.
I ate and rehydrated. After a meal I got an ice cream sundae, and then my free glass of wine. I love post-race food! I caught up with a bunch of church, FPU and other friends who had run, volunteered or just come to cheer, and left an hour or two later.
My chiropractor is a personal trainer, and he works evenings and weekends, so I was very grateful to be able to go in and get an adjustment after the race. Those were some loud cracks and pops on that visit.
Two days later, I'm still pretty out of whack. My back is threatening to go out on me. Muscles are tight but not directly sore. Karate was pretty tough tonight. But another adjustment helped work a little more out, so hopefully tomorrow will be better.
I left it ALL on the race course. I had nothing--no fuel, no kick, no sprint--left at the end.
Recovering from my heel injury and not planning out my training well really did me in. I was able to run the whole time. But I knew starting a couple days in advance I wasn't ready for this race, physically or mentally. I wasn't excited about it. I wanted it over. I just put my head down and gave it a brute force effort through those 13.1 miles. I was excited to see friends cheering or out on the race course, but not about the experience of the run.
As I crossed the finish line, this one medic wouldn't let me past her. She was insisting I come with her to the tent and kept asking me if I was all right. I told her I just needed to walk it off, but she wouldn't hear of it. Another one came, and they just about carried me to the medic tent. They had to walk me step-by-step through how to lay down on the cot because I couldn't handle the whole motion in one instruction.
I told them my legs were cramping a little and that I thought I just needed some protein, they had some milk in the post-race area. They elevated my legs. My head was getting really hot, so they put some ice on me. They poured some water in my mouth and also some salt to hydrate me and get my electrolytes up. In a little while I was apparently doing better and they let me go. As I was leaving the tent, I was still pretty queasy and out of it, but doing better. I could walk in a semi-straight line. And just as I left I heard someone call my last name, and I saw another set of medics dragging in my buddy Cassidy.
I ate and rehydrated. After a meal I got an ice cream sundae, and then my free glass of wine. I love post-race food! I caught up with a bunch of church, FPU and other friends who had run, volunteered or just come to cheer, and left an hour or two later.
My chiropractor is a personal trainer, and he works evenings and weekends, so I was very grateful to be able to go in and get an adjustment after the race. Those were some loud cracks and pops on that visit.
Two days later, I'm still pretty out of whack. My back is threatening to go out on me. Muscles are tight but not directly sore. Karate was pretty tough tonight. But another adjustment helped work a little more out, so hopefully tomorrow will be better.
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