Men in Action XIV

Tonight we had our Men In Action awards dinner celebration.  Men in Action is a 12-week leadership class our pastor designed to challenge guys to be men living out their faith, being knowledgeable in the Bible, and loving their families well.  He designed the class in response to being frustrated at seeing a lack of qualified leaders in our church.

I went through class # 4 several years ago, and I decided to retake it for class #14.  Over 300 guys have now graduated from this class, and other churches are now using this material.  Pastor Jim encourages alumni to retake the class either as a personal refresher or just to encourage the new guys taking it.  It is a fair amount of work.  You memorize the books of the Bible and the fruit of the spirit.  You have a personal initiative (e.g. controlling your temper) that you find an accountability partner for.  You create a Life Focus Statement to identify ministry goals and opportunities, and map out a timeline of God's faithfulness in your life.  One of the capstone projects is an elder case study.  You’re given a scenario of something an elder board would have to deal with in a church.  You have two weeks to research the underlying legal, moral, biblical issues and then you meet in groups of three as a mock elder board to deliberate and decide on these issues.

Another one of the bigger projects is called "My Life Focus," and involves analyzing your past experiences, spiritual gifts, skills, education, passions, dreams, etc. to create goals and a draft plan for ministry to your family, church and community.  The valuable part of that, I see now in hindsight, is that doing that again showed me how God has grown me since I did this about seven years ago.  Many things on my dreams list last time have come to pass, and my passions and dreams are more refined.

I struggled with motivation in this class.  Work and seminary hit harder than expected this season, so I almost dropped out, but didn’t only because of peer pressure.  I didn’t want to have to deal with all the guys in there saying for years to come, “Oh, we wish you would have finished it with us.”  And I was hoping for it to hit me more with relevance now going through it as a married man, but it didn’t.  Finally, it was just an overcommitted season.  Heidi and I had done so well saying “no” to regular commitments for our first eight months of marriage, and then we took on too much because we saw how well we had been doing.

But I finished.  I was on the fence above going to the awards dinner tonight, but Heidi wanted to, to celebrate this and to see what I had been learning.  I was able to finish up at work so that we were only a little late.  They handed out completion certificates to the 30-something guys who finished out of the 47-ish that started the class.  Then they had some special recognitions based on class votes for most powerful testimony, and most likely to be an elder, etc.  My jaw dropped when I was one of the two guys nominated most likely to be a future elder.  I was very humbled and grateful that I appear to be getting a few of those biblical qualifications right in how I interact with others.

It was a tough class to get through, but tonight made it worth it.

Men's Retreat 2013

I was really looking forward to going this year because I’ve been missing all the guy friends I have at CBC.  If not for my audit at work being delayed another week, I might not have been able to go.

Javad and I rode up and back with Bryan.  When they picked me up at work, they were a little stunned at the security guard knowing me by name, and by me having a reserved parking spot with my name on it.

We picked accountability & skill partners for the weekend and from there were put into four teams.  I was sitting next to Robert T., so we decided to partner up, and we went on the green team.

The speaker was Michael Pouliot, a football player from Montana who started his own men’s ministry called BattleZone.  Kenton went through it and now it seems like the whole program is coming to Campus.  Michael was a good speaker, very intense, but also very intentional.  His big plug was on relational discipleship, and creating multiple generations of discipleship from the idea of 1 Timothy 2:2, Paul discipled Timothy, who disciple faithful men to disciple others.

A couple exercises focused on teaching us things to later teach our partner (who wasn’t in the room learning it firsthand with us).  First was a dollar-bill trick to automatically link two paper clips together.  Later it was more serious stuff: 1) a PRAYERS acronym for daily praying that follows the pattern of the Lord’s Prayer in Matthew 6. 2) a “C-4” technique of emergency defense against temptations that get thrown at us.  The emphasis was heavy on learning each skill well enough to pass that knowledge on.

The food was amazing as always.  The only thing that disappointed was the cookies on Saturday night.  This year they weren’t on warmers (so they were hard instead of soft) and there was no milk.  Epic fail, but at least it helped me to stop after eating only three of them.

Friday night Spades tournament, I partnered with Josh B.  For round 1, we went up against Tim P. & Kyle L.  Tim went nil every hand, but only got it three times, and we still beat them.  Round 2, we lost by six points to Jon D. & Matt S.  I should have counted the points potential (I was last to bid on the last hand) and bid one more trick.

The weekend activity was “top shot.”  The four teams rotated through stations of 3D archery, throwing knives, tomahawks, and slingshot.  Lots of fun.  I wasn’t terrible, but I was not skilled at it.  During competition, though, I was only of only three guys on our team to break a bottle with the slingshot.  Daniel Y. was so thrilled that someone finally broke one for our team that he ran in and picked me up.  Marc (who is blind) and Chapman were the only other guys to break bottles (Chapman broke two).

A great weekend with encouraging conversations and fellowship.

Father/Son Campout 2013, Part 2

Breakfast was French toast, sausage links, cereal, cut-up fruit and muffins.  I love camping when someone else takes care of the food.  I think I would enjoy cooking over a campfire, but as I’m still getting acclimating to this whole “camping” thing, I am so grateful for trip organizers.

Kyle spent the morning playing spoons and airsoft.  I told him we’d go kayaking a little later so that he could play awhile in the morning.  That’s when he told me his swimsuit was wet and had moss on it.  He had gone down to his “secret spot” at the river that he and Cole had found last year with some of the other boys and dads (I had been too worn out with my knee issues after setting up the tent to go along).  When he came back, he had apparently left his swim trunks in a ball inside the tent rather than hanging them out to dry.  It was fascinating to me how that boy discards clothes when he’s changing.  I imagine his body motions being similar to that of someone at a rave for all the random places I find his socks inside the tent.  He barely remembers to get his shoes off before entering the tent.  It’s a good stretch for an “everything in its place” type of person like me.  I’m so glad I’m at a place in life when I can handle this and roll with the punches a little better.  The 22-year-old me would have been an overbearing micro-manager to a kid like Kyle.  I’m amazed at what situations I’ve been able to just let go on.

By some miracle, his shorts weren’t stinking, and they were just barely damp, so we were good to go after all.  I had heard that the Wishon Lake water levels were low, but that Courtright Lake might be a better spot for the day.  It was beautiful.  Kyle wasn’t thrilled about the work to set up and inflate the kayak, but he did it.  I think he enjoyed kayaking, he just wanted to be back playing airsoft, but I figured it was good to get him away from firearms for a little while.  He was almost no help paddling, and almost tipped us several times by dipping the paddle too far into the water, but his technique improved over the afternoon.

We paddled around and then pulled over to a different shore for a water and snack break.  We talked to a couple people hanging out nearby.  Then we got back in the kayak and paddled all the way across the lake to this huge rock near the opposite edge.  It was probably 40 feet tall and I wondered about the potential for rock jumping from it.  Not something we would do today, but a thought for the future.

We started out with me in front and him in back.  After our break, I switched spots with him.  Then when he complained, I’d splash him with a little lake water.  After two or three times, he quit complaining.

We got back to the dock and carried the kayak to the car to clean it out and deflate it.  Then we headed back to the camp, eating our lunch on the way.  He had been in such a hurry for the next airsoft war that he refused to look at the lunch fixings to tell me what he wanted, so I got him to agree to eat whatever I brought without complaining.  I made three completely different sandwiches that I would eat so that I’d have two I liked and a reasonable chance of him liking one of them.  He wanted PB&J, so that left a turkey/mustard and a roast beef/mustard for me.  When we got back, he bounded out of the car and I loaded him with stuff to carry before he ran off, which the explicit instructions to hang up the wet towels.

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Okay, this has been lingering for awhile unfinished, so in the interest of finishing this off quickly, here are the highlights of the remainder of the trip:

Kyle didn’t hang up the towels as instructed, and later ran off to his secret spot in spite of my instruction for him to wait for me.  Because of the repeated disobedience/not-listening, I laid down the law for no airsoft for the rest of the night.  He still pushed the envelope, and ended up being limited to staying by my side the rest of the evening.  He was bummed, but I knew he needed consistency in discipline more than he needed fun.  It was a rough evening for us both.  When I sent him to bed, I went and talked to him to clarify the distinctions between the discipline over disobedience being out of my love for him, and desiring him to grow up and obey Christ.  I tried to just say it succinctly and not drag out the point.  Then I prayed with him, and he went to sleep.  Todd and I played cards for a little while that evening, and a couple more guys joined us for awhile.

The next morning, Kyle was permitted to play airsoft again.  I made him pack and intermittently help with tear-down, but tried to give him ample time to play.  We stayed longer than I planned, but oh well.  I had more time to talk with the other dads and he had more time to play.  On the way down, he got a little car sick.  This guy is amazing.  He vomited in a bag and then softly announced that he had thrown up.  I had no mess in my car to clean up, no screams or sudden scares coming from the backseat or anything.  So I pulled over, hydrated him, got him to walk around and breathe deeply.  He even commented that he thought this was the same place he got carsick last year on the way down.  When he was ready, we got back on the road.  Thankfully he passed out pretty quickly so I didn’t have to continue taking the turns as gently all the way home.  He slept all the way home.

Father/Son Campout 2013, Part 1

Every year, my former church does a father-son campout at Wishon Lake.  It’s an awesome campsite, in close proximity to two lakes, lots of hiking trails and some rock-climbing sites.  The site has several tent pad surrounding four or five fire pits.  There’s a kitchen area in the middle, along with a pair of bathroom stalls, and several water spigots sprinkled throughout the camp.

I went once, six years ago, with my dad.  Dad drove up for the weekend and we had a pretty good time together, but my dad doesn’t enjoy not being able to take showers, and we capsized a kayak, nearly drowning, so we decided not to repeat the ordeal.  I’ve always been a little bummed not being “eligible” to attend, but I figured one day my turn would come again.

My friend Tiffany is a single mom to Kyle (9) and Josh (7).  Last year Tiffany’s brother took the boys, but wasn’t in town this year, so I offered to take them.  I’ve been Josh’s Sunday School teacher, and Kyle’s VBS leader, and have hung out with them on a few occasions since.

So this past weekend I took Kyle on the trip.  Josh didn’t want to be away from Mom, but Kyle wanted to go.  Both boys are a little hyperactive and have some behavior issues, so I wasn’t sure whether or not just having Kyle was a good thing or not.  On one hand, there’s only one boy to keep track of, but on the other, there’s no sibling to entertain him on the drive (2 hours each way).

I picked up Kyle at 2:30 on Friday, and Tiffany walked me through his luggage so I would know where everything is.  Before we loaded up the car, we let Mom get all her pictures in of her baby’s departure.

My friend Cory sent me a text as I was leaving to ask if dinner was provided on Friday.  Her husband Bryan and their two boys Cole (9, Kyle’s best friend) and Quentin (7 on Saturday) were 30 minutes en route.  Thankfully that prompted me to realize that it wasn’t, Bryan and I each stopped to pick up respective dinners for us and our kids.

The drive was uneventful.  Kyle and I talked for about half of the drive.  He filled me in on what he’d been doing for the summer, I explained a little about my job and what I’d been doing, and then he filled me in on everything he was planning to do this weekend (hanging out with Cole, going to their secret hideout, playing spoons and playing airsoft).  He read for a little while, and without too many “are we there yets?” we arrived.

We ate dinner with the Bryan, Cole & Quentin and then set up our respective tents.  Todd arrived shortly thereafter with Derek & Griffin (twins, 6).  Bryan had brought a hammock, so we were not wanting for comfort.

Apparently Tiffany pulled Kyle’s airsoft gun out of his bag without him knowing it, because Kyle was nearly despondent over not having it, but he wasted no time in convincing another kid to lend him a spare gun.  Kyle is nothing if not resourceful.

I took the time to catch up with the other dads.  I miss this group of guys now that I’m no longer at CBC, but I’m grateful for opportunities like this to reconnect.  I met Alex, a guy visiting from Brazil, who will be staying in my house while he takes English classes for the next month.  CBC’s executive pastor Matt arranges these situations with a friend he met while doing a missions trip in Brazil years ago, so that Brazilian’s can come to America, take some English classes and do some touristy stuff while visiting.  Matt arranges host families for these guys/girls, and asked me to host the guy who was visiting this time.

Later in the evening, Kyle organized a game of spoons with the other kids in our firepit area.  I know he’s good at this game, but I’m reasonably sure he was cheating.  But since all the other kids seemed to be cheating as well in one form or another, there was no money on the tree stump, and none of us dads wanted to bother to police every little detail, we let it go.

We sent the kids to bed around 9.  I prayed with Kyle and then crawled back out to talk with the other dads.  Two other families had set up tents in our area.  I crashed for some short-lived sleep a little while later, and then was wide awake for most of the night.  Ugh, oh well.

Mexico Countdown

I can't really say, "it feels real now," because it's always felt that way.  The impending arrival of our leave date hasn't snuck up on me in any sense.

We had our final team meeting today, and it was very productive.  I finally received the packing list.  Two things really made me breathe a sigh of relief: 1) air mattresses and 2) kids are not allowed to bring electronics.

We are tent camping in a secured compound just south of the border.  Our Jr. High pastor comes across as pretty no frills, so I was presuming we were laying our sleep bags directly on the floor of the tent on the dirt or concrete.  I normally have no problem saying I need an air mattress for my back issues and my sleep issues, but I really struggle with being an exception when we're trying to teach the Jr. Highers about servant leadership, especially when they usually can't see an exception for anything more than "he gets something that I don't," and not being able to acknowledge how much easier they can function for a week on interrupted sleep than a 28-year-old can.

One of my biggest pet peeves (okay, I have a long list of them, but this is near the top) is kids' addiction to electronics.  I think there is immense value in letting kids get bored and forcing them to observe the world around them.  I read an article once that touted one of the benefits of summer is having kids get bored enough to make their minds wander.  That point is where concepts can start to gel, and all the "book learnin'" from school can start to come together for them.  So I'm glad that we're presenting a consistent message on this.  Kids have been told to have their parents' numbers written down and that they can use an adult's cell phone to call to establish ETA for the return trip (and we have all the emergency contact slips with us), so there will be no need for them to have any electronics.

I think I'm almost ready with setting up my coworkers for me to be gone from Friday through the Monday after Easter, but it may be a little tight getting all my reports done.

My main stressors right now are my next seminary paper and my arm.  The paper is due this Saturday, but I need to have it done on Thursday, as well as knock out a quiz and a couple online forum posts that would be due the next week that I probably won't be back online with coherency to complete by that Saturday.

With my arm, I had blood work done two weeks ago, and the nurse who drew me messed up.  On the first attempt, she missed the vein.  On the second attempt, she got the blood but must have nicked a nerve in there, because my whole arm was throbbing after I left the Dr's office.  The pain would ebb and flow, but never truly subsided.  I finally went back in a week later, and they put me on the strong pain meds to sleep at night because the pain was waking me up.  Yesterday I was finally able to do a couple push-ups and pull-ups for the first time since the draw, and the pain is much more localized today instead of being throughout the whole arm, so I'm hopefully on the mend.  Just in time to go do a week of construction work in Mexico.

I'm also not crazy about the only getting one shower thing (on Thursday), but oh well.

Okay God, you've got this.  Here go I in faith.