Time to get out of town!

Okay, the pressure is building!  Looking at my calendar, I have been land-locked in Fresno/Clovis/Fowler since December 16.  All attempts to leave the Central Valley in that time have been thwarted by illness, the audit, Mexico missions trip planning meetings, and coaching basketball.  No wonder I'm wound so tight these days!

Tomorrow is the last day of basketball and our Mexico missions tri-tip fundraiser is this weekend, so I have to be around for those, but I am declaring now that I am out for the two weekends that follow!  I have a 10K to run the morning of Saturday, March 2 in Sanger, but then I plan to head out to the coast for the remainder of the weekend.  And Lord willing, a long overdue visit to Orange County the weekend following.

So I need to buckle down and get my next seminary paper written so that I can travel homework-guilt free.

Mexico: the Trip Planning

My Fresno church held a men's ministry kick-off dinner in January, and all the pastors gave updates on what their ministries were doing that year and how we could potentially be involved.

When Lee, our Jr High pastor got up to speak, he spoke about opportunities to mentor Jr Highers and their Spring Break trip to Mexico.  I already informally spend more time with a few church kids than the once-a-month mentoring he described, so I felt okay passing on that one.

But the Mexico trip stuck in my head.  I was neck deep in my audit, my back was about to go out, and I had undergone a particularly awful day at work prior to the dinner, so I didn't ask more questions that night.

I spoke to Lee at a later date, and he outlined the trip for me.  The Jr. Highers will do a VBS, but the extra adults going will be doing a construction project for a church in Mexicali.  This isn't with a formal missions organization, just off of a personal relationship that Lee has maintained with this pastor and his family since he met them on a Mexico trip when he was in a youth group growing up.  He's been going back to help out in various capacities with this church year after year.  A few years ago, he and a group built a compound of bathrooms down the to replace the existing ones that were falling apart.  This year, we're going to convert the old bathroom stalls into shower stalls.  Thankfully we have Kyle, an experienced tile & plumbing guy, going with us.

I was getting excited about this.  I still didn't know if it would play out to take the time off work, and I couldn't even request vacation time until the audit was over, but Lee patiently extended the application deadline for me because of my work situation.

Right after the audit finished, I fell ill on the release from the stress wave I'd been riding for so long and was out for three days.  I waited until my second day back, and then took the vacation request form into my boss.  I described the trip, told him I thought we could get the monthly bank reporting deadlines done before I leave, and he signed the form!

Onto the money part.  I love missions.  I love supporting missionaries.  I hate, however, asking for money to do missions myself because I feel that people have a given amount of money they're going to budget for supporting missions, and I don't want to deprive a missionary who needs the support more than I do.  And I am not naturally a salesman, I hate selling products, and much less, myself as something that others should invest in.  Others I know do that very well by nature, and I applaud them for that gifting and don't look down on them for that, but it's not my personality AT ALL.  Since the trip cost was manageable, I asked Lee if he would be okay with me foregoing the sending of support letters and just writing a check for my portion of the trip costs.

Well, it turns out that our church has a policy of not sending support letters if the trip cost is below $500/person.  People can donate to the trip if they like, but mass solicitation is not, because there are summer missions trips that have a much higher cost, and the church has a missions budget from regular tithes that is allocated to offset the cost of trips like these.  As far as us raising money, though. we were going to be raising money exclusively through our annual tri-tip fundraiser.

The church purchases tri-tips, and cooks them at the church on a planned Sunday, and sell them along with containers of rice pilaf, baked beans and dinner rolls as a full meal for 4+ people for $40.  The pilaf is cooked and donated by ladies in our church (I was privileged enough to be taught how to make one of the coveted recipes BTW!).  Approximately 50% of the sale price goes directly into our missions accounts.  Kids going on the trips receive tickets to sell to both people within and outside of the church (the profit from the sales they arrange go into their specific account).  The meal date is this coming Sunday.

I wasn't able to commit to the trip as early as all of the kids were, and--see above--I hate selling, so my tri-tip sales were lackluster (I did get a couple meals sold), but I had budgeted for covering the whole cost of the trip myself, so even those two sales were a bonus.  I was also very blessed with a generous donation by a former church member in town who didn't care for a meal but wanted to support my trip nonetheless.

I was sad to hear some people in the church say that they had been asked by as many as 8 kids about buying a tri-tip meal, and felt guilty for not being able to say yes to more than one.  I want to see if I can find a way to help organize that next year to minimize the multiple requests, such as a check-out system for a set of names that each kid would have exclusive rights to ask.

We've been having weekly meetings on Sunday afternoons to have the kids get their VBS skits ready, and for us adults to do some planning talks on the construction work.  I'm still a little overwhelmed to realize that I'm actually going on this trip.  I'm excited because I've been wanting to go on a missions trip for a few years now, but have never been able to make it jive with time off from work.  This is a very new desire for me, because I always figured that God made me to be a "sender" of other missionaries, both short-term and long-term.  I went to Mexico for two week-long trips in Jr High and HS, and enjoyed them, but never was stirred about wanting to do it more.  But I'm admittedly nervous about my sleep struggles that continue to crop up periodically (though much improved since having my tonsils out).  I'll be a driver for the trip, and I'm not worried about the drive down there, but more my daily functionality for construction work during the trip if I'm not able to sleep well at night.  But if God wants me going on this trip, I have faith that He's going to work out the sleep issues.

Audit Status: Complete!

And now...we're done.  [large belabored exhale]

Our audit deadline was Monday, January 28.  That was 120 days after our year-end, the due date to get audited financial statements to our bank so that we didn't go into default on our loan.

It was a fight to the finish.  We were nine weeks late in starting because of system issues, and the original timetable only had us finishing six weeks early, and I even thought the original time frame was aggressive.  So we lost three weeks from that window of time.

On Friday the 25th, we had our closing meeting on everything except taxes.  Everything looked good, we had haggled out almost everything.  We were happy, the auditors were happy.

On Saturday, I'm watching my friends' 6-year-old son Quentin for the day and I get the call from my auditors: there MIGHT be a problem.  Ugh.  My boss schedules a 4:30 conference call to discuss.  We go over preliminaries, and the auditors are going to work on it and get back to me.

On Sunday, I'm heading home from church, and my auditors call again.  They're still working on yesterday's issue, but they need another report drafted on a different tax issue.  I write it up and send it off.

On Monday, I e-mail the auditors to ask for an update around 10 a.m.  They say they'll get back to me when they have something.  At 3:30 p.m., they call us and say they're ready to show us their findings, but that we should come to their office so we can figure out how we're going to get all this done.  So the President, the CFO and I drive up to Fresno.

They explain these problems with last year that are going to make gigantic swings in this and last year's numbers, and then I watch my boss make magic happen.  He clarifies a couple pieces of information in the timetable of events, and challenges it from a business reasonableness point of view, and those gargantuan numbers dwindled away.  It was art in words and numbers.

The auditors then need some more time to retool their numbers, so the three of us go to dinner.  We return at 8, run through it all again, sign our representations, and we receive the audited financial statements at 9:30 that evening.  I sent them off to the bank, chit-chatted with the auditors for a bit, and then we all went home.

The even happier ending is that I was finally officially promoted to the position of Controller (formerly the Senior Accountant) and received a nice raise and bonus.

I am SO glad that this is FINALLY done!

Forgiveness

I am struck tonight with how God is never done teaching me things.  Even when I’m certain that I’m in the right in a conflict.  God still has this powerful way of being able to say, Yes, you’re in the right on this one.  But that’s not the issue here.  You still need to forgive the other person.  My plan here is greater than you being in the right.

I’m overwhelmed tonight.  I’ve been carrying this pain and this burden for half a year, and I feel like I’m really making a step forward in letting it go.

Upward Basketball

New experience #1 of 2013: kindergarten basketball coach.

 

I’m still not sure how I felt about the whole experience.  It went as well as herding cats can go.

 

The first thing I felt was immense relief when I walked into the gym and saw the color of the shirts on the other coaches.  Dark blue with a light blue accent.  We never know the colors in advance, and I was really worried they’d be yellow.  It sounds petty, but I really don’t like how I look wearing yellow.

 

I have 11 kids on my roster, and they all showed up to the first practice.  I handed out the boxes which had their jerseys, etc. inside.  I introduced myself as best as possible to the players and their parents.  This is open to the community and to other churches, so I actually only knew two of the kids (twins), and two other families (but not these specific kids).

 

We had an hour, and I took up a little over half of it with drills.  I was very thankful for the website that had a scripted practice regimen.  It made me look so much more organized, which I was really nervous about given that all the parents were there watching their future NBA players.  We broke for a devotional (just a get-to-know-you exercise for week 1) at half-time and then started a game.

 

We play man-to-man defense, and organize the kids for that by putting colored Velcro strips in the shoulder of their jersey.  So the kids just had to find their color on a kid with the other color jersey (the jerseys are reversible for easy team division).  I had one kid always sitting out, but rotated a new one in every five minutes.  I have about three pretty solid players for being 5 years old, one who’s afraid of the ball, and the rest are pretty middle-of-the-road.

 

I had one crier, over the fact that he didn’t always get to hold a ball.  Thankfully I have his older brother and sister in Awana, so I know the family, and the Mom trusted me just grabbing him and distracting him into practice.  He did fine once the game started.

 

Hands down my favorite part of the morning: being called “Coach.”  I cherish being called Uncle Karl by a number of my Sunday School kids, but this was a new level of cool.  I think it’s because I never saw this as a possibility for me.

Year in Review

As I was wrapping up the last few months of this year, I was reflecting on how I’ve felt closing out past years, particularly by looking at my past Year-in-review blogs.  What I disliked the most was being relieved that the particular year was finally over.  I didn’t want that to be my mindset anymore.  I want to celebrate what’s going on now, not just be waiting for rest “just up ahead.”  So I decided that 2012 was going to be a banner year, and that I would be happy about it coming to a close only because of the wonderful memories it contained.  Yes, some horrible things have happened this year, two in particular, but here is not the place for dwelling on that.

One overarching highlight to this year is that I finally got around to doing a lot of things I’d been putting off for a few years, things like household repairs.  No more waiting.  Life is now.

What have God and I have gotten done this year:

·         Survived a tonsillectomy, kicking off the best year of sleep in my adult life to date

·         Joined the singles small group that my Fresno church started
·         Unrelated to the above note, met an awesome girl with whom I had almost nothing in common, we dated for a few weeks, and then she got a job transfer to Denver.  It was a short-lived but valuable relationship in that God showed me that His spectrum of relationship compatibility is much bigger than mine.
·         10-year high school reunion
·         Took first place (among 7 guys) in our church’s 10K
·         Coached Sparks for the Awana Games this year, completed and started another year as Games Director.
·         Per my Garmin watch, ran over 400 miles this year
·         Completed five half marathons, but only two Rock ‘n’ Roll races (my goal was three to beat 2010)
·         Completed my first year at my new job
·         Survived being on the other side of the audit table.
·         Two unsuccessful attempts at half dome.  Oh well, I tried.  Next year.
·         Emceed for VBS
·         Acquired a cat in June
·         Lost a cat in October (I am not discussing this further)
·         Celebrated four years of home ownership on September 1.  Oddest fact: I’ve removed three interior doors (two closets and one bathroom).  Doors just start to get in the way when you live alone.  This has been my longest stint of no roommate, a year and three months so far.
·         Started (and ended) an ASL class taught by a friend in my church.  I enjoyed my three months in it and would have liked to continue, but I have other activities I want to pursue in 2013.
·         Attended the annual AgOne Foundation BBQ in Madera as a guest of my auditors.  I was great to become more connected with the Ag community here in the Valley.
·         Took Aislynn on my Fresno church’s Father/Daughter campout.
·         Orange and then Purple belts in karate (February and November, respectively.
·         With the help of my friend Mike (plus Phillip and Seth), did a valve replacement on my engine
·         The wedding circuit ramped up again this year: attended four after seeing them trail off in the last couple years.  Yeni & Megan, James & Amy, Jordan & Molly, and Daniel & Hanna.  Only caught one of the garters.
·         Celebrated the signing of a new and better bank deal at work and oversaw/survived the horrific implementation process.
·         Acquired a lot of new-to-me furniture this year.  Still trying to figure out how to arrange it all and what to give away.  A little more furniture matches than before, which I’m not thrilled about, but I’m accepting.
·         Did the most Christmas decorating in my house to date, but still didn’t get outside lights up.  So close!
·         Set a new record for shortest time in Orange County: 17 hours.  Really wanted to come down for the VBC Christmas service, but I had Christmas caroling in Fresno Saturday night and work Monday morning.  Beats the previous record of 22 hours in 2005 for Joy’s late notice baptism.
·         Hosted a Christmas craft day for 17 kids in my home
·         Completed my first year in my own Spades group (while continuing to regularly sub in two other groups).  My group has seven singles who got tired of waiting to get married so they could join a group.  So we just find enough single and/or married friends to fill the tables each month.  For December, we actually combined with another group I sub in for a massive Christmas Spades night at my house.  It was so much fun!
·         Published my first Christmas letter!

What’s in store ahead:

·         Taking a seminary course.  This is just a sample course through Corban University’s School of Ministry.  After this I’ll decide if I want to pursue the full degree.  If I do, it may lead me toward a career change into ministry utilizing my finances background.
·         Coaching Kindergarten Upward Basketball at my church.  This one’s a big stretch for me.  I played basketball on a home school team during my sophomore year.  I was probably the most disciplined but least talented guy on the team.  I’d do whatever the coach said, but lacked that natural rhythm on the court.  But our children’s pastor assures me that the Kindergarten team is just about teaching them a few fundamental skills and having fun with them.  I'm still skeptical.

For 2012, my goal set last year was to gain a better understanding of God’s ministry plans for me.  I feel good about my progress in this goal.  I finished another year of teaching Kindergarten and serving as Awana Games Director.  I enrolled for a seminary class.  I’ve helped several friends move or with home & yard work.  Another thing I’ve been trying to do is help single moms in our church.  It breaks my heart to see husbands/dads give up on the responsibility they “didn’t realize” they were signing up for, particularly what it does to the kids.  I had signed up with Big Brothers Big Sisters, but didn’t really feel like I could work with the structure of that program.  There are a couple single moms in my church, so I’ve been informally helping them out as time allows.  I took Aislynn on the Father/Daughter Campout with our church.  Noah got a turn to spend the night in my spare bedroom.  And just a bunch of afternoons/evenings at my house or around town doing errands with each of the kids.

I’ve been holding this post back (drafted on 12/29, now 1/3) because I haven’t been able to figure out where I want to direct my focus for 2013.

I have some smaller goals: I want to do well in the grad school class(es) as I take, however many there end up being.  I coasted through some of my undergrad work and didn’t learn as much as I could in some of those classes.  I also want to make some healthier eating choices.  I run off whatever junk I consume, but I’d like to be more disciplined in portion-size and healthy choices.

I keep pondering a question my friend Terry asked me back in April.  If you were to look back on your life ten years from now, how would you evaluate your life?  In some areas I think I’d be very proud of myself.  In other areas, I should really be doing better.  Details on that are for another blog post, but I want to be more content with my retrospective review by this time next year.  Too vague, I know, but that’s all I’ve got for right now.

The Interrupted Christmas

This Christmas was yet another reminder that God is God and I am not.  I spent this Christmas sick.  Very very sick.

I came down with it on Sunday evening.  I knew it was coming.  I had pushed too hard the week prior, not getting enough sleep one too many nights.  I kept it away by sheer force of will, which usually holds it at bay a couple days and gives me time to fortify my immune system for the attack.  I figured it wouldn’t be too bad, that I’d feel a little “blech,” and be over this thing no problem.  I was wrong.

Warning: complaints of maladies for this entire run-on sentence/paragraph: worst sinus pressure ever experienced, spurts of sleep lasting no longer than 70 minutes (but usually only 15-20 minutes) at a time, ear infection resulting from inability to sleep, vomiting, loss of appetite, inability to focus or concentrate, sensitivity to light, hallucinations, bumping into walls, coughing, sneezing, headaches, chills.

God has graciously given me short-term true memory of physical pain.  I remember surgeries and illnesses and merely knowing that I was in excruciating pain, but I don’t recall the depth of the pain sensations that I felt in those instances (I think it joins how I can have people describe disgusting things while I eat and not be phased by it).  But I do remember only once or twice having any significant sinus pressure with any head cold, and that those instances were minimal compared to this.  That was the base of all of this.  My body couldn’t handle the pain from it and wouldn’t let me sleep through it.  Then every time I’d wake up I couldn’t remember if I was in my bed or on one of my couches and almost crash into something trying to re-orient myself.

So I clearly did not go to my church’s Christmas Eve service.  I didn’t go to Daniel & Hanna’s place for dinner with their families afterward.  And I didn’t go to Matt & Barbara’s on Christmas Day for dinner and games at their house.  These were the plans after making Christmas Dinner at the children’s hospital with Haig & Valerie were canceled because of Valerie recently having wrist surgery.  I couldn’t watch T.V. or read.  It was miserable.  I have never seen time tick by so slowly.

The funniest part of this whole thing is that as I was spiraling downhill on Sunday night, I watched an episode of The West Wing, the one where the president is approving pardons.  The hallucinations mentioned above were related to this.  In my stupor of not sleeping enough for coherency, I imagined that I was the president in the show and was being prodded by my senior staff into granting pardons in my ill-minded state (“Just four more, Mr. President.  We’ll leave these right here next to you.  Just sign them.”).

On Monday afternoon, I was running low on all my sick supplies.  Living alone, it only makes sense to have an arsenal of feel-better food and meds on hand so I don’t need to go out on a store run when ill.  But I still managed to run short.  So I texted Greg, one of the few friends I could on Christmas Eve, and asked if he could help me out.  Greg however is without a driver’s license currently, but I figured he could at least do the driving part of the store run if I could wait in the car.  It was rough, but I made it.

Restocked on tuna, waffles, Gatorade, 7-Up and Afrin, I crashed and endured another miserable night.  But finally at 7a on Tuesday morning I fell asleep and stayed asleep for three blissful hours.  I woke up and my sinus pressure was finally reduced, and everything else had settled into a common cold.  This I could handle.

I stayed in and continued to rest, but was now able to focus and concentrate.  I slept about six hours last night, but still woke up congested this morning, so taking a sick day today, Wednesday.

Probably the roughest Christmas yet, but oh well.  Somehow missing the expected celebrations didn’t mean as much.  I poured a lot into the preparation and had some great time with friends leading up to it.